The Adventures of Scorpius Malfoy
by The Lady Rogue
Summary: And his boyfriend... Albus Potter. Also known as The Unfortunate Consequences of Going Skinny Dipping With Albus Potter and The Unfortunate Consequences of Talking To Oneself in the Mirror
1. Unfortunate Consequences

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck." Scorpius muttered to himself as footsteps approached the cell he was sitting in. He glanced up and sighed.

"Hello dad." He said. His dad, thankfully, looked amused.

"Hello Scorpius."

"You got bail." The muggle police officer beside his dad remarked as he pulled open the cell door.

The muggle police officer.

Scorpius had never been more embarrassed in his life.

Scorpius was handed his effects, including the wand he'd so foolishly left discarded with his clothes as he'd gone skinny dipping.

"Potter." His dad said. Scorpius blushed furiously as Harry Potter bailed his own naked son out of jail.

"Malfoy." Potter said.

"Hey Scor." Al said casually, looking unbothered.

"Hello Albus." Scorpius replied stiffly. His dad and Harry Potter exchanged a look as they walked out the building.

"So…" Harry Potter began. "I wasn't aware you two knew each other." He then made a weird snorting noise. Scorpius span to find Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Saviour of the Wizarding World, The Slayer of the Dark Lord, struggling, and failing, to hold in a laugh. Finally, he devolved into mad chuckling, which seemed to embarrass Al more than having been arrested by muggle police. His dad wasn't laughing, but his eyes were gleaming in an amused manner.

"Who'd have thought?" His dad remarked. Scorpius exchanged a glance with Al. They both lunged for their wands at the same time, and grabbed each other.

"Mine?" Al said.

"Yup." Scorpius replied, and immediately felt the crushing sensation of apparition. They landed in a heap on Al's bed.

"That was fun." Al said with a grin, wiggling all over him. Scorpius flicked him around the ear, but finally allowed himself to relax. He supposed that was one way to tell his father he was dating Albus Potter. Now… to tell his grandfather.

* * *

HAHA. Bonus:

"Are you sure we're allowed to do this?" Scorpius questioned, half in an attempt to distract himself from the cold water that was freezing his balls off, and half because he was certain he'd seen a sign declaring 'No Swimming'.

"Yeah of course!" Al replied, beaming at him, already chest deep. Scorpius was caught for a moment by those beautiful green eyes, and that was the reason it was Albus' fault he didn't notice the people creeping up on them.

"Freeze! Police!" Scorpius span, glaring at the police officers standing over their belongings. He instinctively reached for his wand… which was in his pile of clothing.

"Shit." Albus muttered, and Scorpius couldn't help but agree with the sentiment.

Hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment, and thanks for reading :) x


	2. Inevitable Consequences

"Grandfather, I'm dating Albus Potter." Scorpius declared to his reflection. His reflection grimaced.

"No… okay. Grandfather. Albus is my life, and I love him, and there's nothing you can do to stop me." Scorpius cringed. Sappy didn't even cover it. He sighed, and leaned against the wall, banging it with his hand.

"Arg. What the fuck am I going to say!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. He growled, and scorned his own pitiful attempts. "Grandfather. I'm shagging Albus Potter and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me." Scorpius muttered to himself in mocking tone.

"Well, Scorpius, I didn't need to know the former, but I'm glad to hear the latter."

Scorpius squeaked in surprise, and spun to face his grandfather. "Gramps!"

"Are you ready for dinner?" Grandfather asked, a twinkle in his eye. "If so, please come down. I'm sure both myself and your grandmother will be interested in hearing more about your paramour."

If it was possible to die of embarrassment, Scorpius would be dead twice over.

"Yes." He yelped. "Yes sir, I'll be right down."

"And perhaps, another night, we might invite young Mr Potter over for dinner as well." He nodded, ignoring the flush that had crept up past his neck and over his cheeks. His grandfather winked at him.

"Come along then." And Scorpius followed like the dutiful grandson he was.

* * *

Hehe. Just a little snippet. Any more adventures for Scorpius?

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed :) x


	3. Love and Other Consequences

"Mr Potter!" Gran gushed. "I'm delighted to make your acquaintance. For a while I thought Scorpius was never going to invite you to dinner."

Scorpius bit back a groan and smiled at Albus from behind his gran. Albus looked, well, he looked excited, which Scorpius was rather bewildered by.

"Thank you, Mrs Malfoy," Albus said, taking her hand, and kissing it. "Call me Albus, if you like."

"What a charmer," Gran said, and then turned to wink at Scorpius. Scorpius blushed all the way down to his toes in embarrassment. "Do come in."

Albus stepped into Malfoy Manor, and Scorpius realised this was probably the first time he'd ever been there. Albus was doing a spectacular job at not staring at the floor length portraits, or the solid gold busts, or the nude fresco on the domed ceiling of their entrance hall.

Scorpius' dad had had to grow up in this mausoleum. Scorpius was just glad that he only stayed here on the weekends.

"Follow me, dear," Gran said, and lead the way into the dining room. Scorpius took the opportunity quickly kiss his boyfriend.

"Hey Al," he said. "How you doing?"

Albus grinned. "Heya Scor. I'm good. This house is awesome!"

"I'm glad you think so, Mr Potter," Grandfather said, the tap of his cane preceding his entrance. Scorpius winced. Albus was undeterred.

"Yup. Nice to meet you Mr Malfoy, you can call me Albus," he said cheerfully. Grandfather shook Albus' hand with a bemused look upon his face.

"Would you like a drink?" Gran asked as she hassled them into their seats. Grandfather sat at the head of the table, Gran at the other end, and Albus and Scorpius opposite other in between.

"Butterbeer would be great, thanks."

"Oh, I'm afraid we don't have that," Gran said.

"Not to worry," Albus said. "I'll have whatever Scor's having."

Both Gran and Grandfather turned expectant looks upon Scorpius, and he did his best not to shrink into his seat.

"Yes, Scor," Granfather said. "What will you be having?"

Scorpius blanched at the sound of his nickname in his Grandfather's cultured voice.

"Red wine," he squeaked, before clearing his throat "Thank you."

Mimsy appeared from where she was hidden and promptly poured them all a glass.

"The starters, Mimsy," Grandfather ordered. Mimsy bowed, and disappeared, the food arriving moments later.

The meal was a rather silent affair, apart from the occasional murmur of appreciation. Finally, when the last dishes were cleared, Grandfather cleared his throat and fixed Albus with a steely stare.

"Mr Potter," he began.

"Albus, please, honestly, Mr Potter makes me think of my dad," Albus interrupted. Scorpius cringed.

"Albus…" Grandfather rolled the word around in his mouth as if confused by it. "Albus, I must ask you what your intentions are toward our grandson."

"Gramps!" Scorpius exclaimed.

"Only the very best," Albus said seriously. "He's the most wonderful man I've ever met, and I would never do anything to compromise our relationship."

Scorpius was utterly mortified, and mildly flattered.

"Hmph," Grandfather said. "Very well."

Gran sighed. "That's enough of that. Why don't you give Albus a tour of the house while I have a word with your Grandfather?"

Scorpius jumped to his feet. "Excellent idea." He scarpered out the room. Albus followed at a much calmer pace.

"I am so sorry," Scorpius began, running a hand over his face.

"Whatever for?" Albus asked.

"Gramps. Gran. The whole meal. I should have known my family would be like that."

"Scor," Albus grabbed him by the shoulder just as they entered the conservatory. "It was absolutely fine. Besides, I wanted to meet your family."

"You did?" Scorpius squawked.

"Of course I did. I love you. I want to get to know everything about you."

Scorpius stared at Albus in shock.

"That's alright, isn't it? It's not too soon to say it?" Albus said, worrying at his bottom lip.

Scorpius answered by lunging forward and kissing the life out of him. Albus kissed back, then drew away.

"Not here," he hissed.

"They won't bother us," Scorpius assured him.

Albus snorted a laugh, but pushed him gently back. "I want to make a good impression. I am not going to snog you where just anyone could walk in."

Scorpius pouted. "Fine. But I'm sneaking into your room tonight."

Albus rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "If you insist."

"I love you too," Scorpius whispered in Albus' ear as he drew him in for a hug.

"Yeah," Albus whispered back. "I know."


	4. Consequences of Being Harry Potter

This continues directly on from chapter 1, from Harry's POV.

For **Dul'mephistos**.

* * *

Harry gazed at the space where his son, and Scorpius Malfoy had been, before they'd disapparated away, together, and couldn't hold back his snorts of laughter.

"Potter," Malfoy hissed. "You're making a scene."

Harry finally got control of himself, and grinned at Malfoy. "Did you know?"

Malfoy shook his head. "Not a clue. Great detectives, we are," he said dryly. Both Malfoy and he worked in the Aurors, but in different divisions.

"The Malfoys will be marrying into the Weasleys," Harry said with a snort.

Malfoy groaned. "Oh god, don't remind me. I've just had to deal with muggles, let me live in my delusions of pureblood grandeur a little while longer." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shall we set a date for the marriage? I think we ought to hold it at Malfoy Manor, don't you? Molly will be thrilled. You know, I think I've lost count of how many Weasley cousins Albus has."

"Potter!" Malfoy snapped. "Shut your gob before I shut it for you. You're giving me nightmares."

Harry smirked. "Touchy, aren't we?"

"Sod off," Malfoy said, but a hint of a smile appeared on his face. "At least Albus is a Slytherin. Really, we should have expected this."

"I'm just amazed they've managed to keep it from us this long," Harry said.

"Hmm," Malfoy said, a contemplative look on his face. "It's almost as if they've had help."

"You think? No…" Harry breathed. "I've gotta go."

Malfoy waved him off. "See you around Potter."

Harry disapparated, landing on his front porch. He almost broke the front door with his haste to get through it.

"Gin! Ginny!"

Lily was sitting at the kitchen table, going over some homework. She glanced up as he came in.

"Upstairs," she said, narrowing her eyes. "So Albus has finally told you, has he?"

"Yeah, thanks Lils," Harry said, then froze. "Wait, what!"

She mimed zipping her lips closed, and pointed at the stairs. Harry took them two at a time, and burst into their bedroom.

He took one glance at Ginny, and huffed in disbelief. "You knew, all this time!"

Ginny put her book aside, and patted the bed. Harry ignored it, and began pacing back and forth.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

Ginny sighed. "You know that James has always been a bit of a mummy's boy. He took me along to pick out the engagement ring."

Harry's jaw dropped. "What?"

Ginny blinked. "Shit. Oh, I see. Albus told you he's dating Malfoy?"

"Yes, yes," Harry said. "That's fine. James has bought an engagement ring?"

"DAD!" James bellowed from downstairs.

Harry looked at Ginny, then at the doorway. "We're going to talk about you keeping secrets from me," he told her. She laughed. Harry raced back down the stairs.

"I proposed! Amy said yes!" James cried. Harry swept him into a hug, and Lily fitted into his side as Ginny slid an arm around them all.

"Congrats," Harry said into James' hair.

"I'm so happy for you," Ginny added.

"About time," Lily snarked.

James laughed, and shook them all free. "Now I've got to tell Albus!" He ran out the door.

"Wait!" Harry called, but James had gone. He winced. "I think Al might be a bit busy right now."

"Gross, dad!" Lily said. "TMI!"

"To much information," Ginny mouthed when he looked at her in confusion.

There was a loud crack, and James reappeared, looking rather dazed.

"Albus… and Scorpius," he said. "Must scourgify eyes." Harry snatched James' wand from his hand as he lifted it.

Another crack announced Albus' arrival, and he shuffled through the open front door.

His shirt was back to front. "Hi," he said sheepishly.

"What's that on your neck?" Lily asked innocently. Albus immediately snapped his hand up, then glared at Lily.

"Shove off," he hissed. "James, congratulations. Uh, sorry you had to see that, but you should know better than apparating straight into my flat. Mum, Dad, see you tomorrow," he said before stalking out.

James had reclaimed his wand, and there was a soppy look on his face. "I'm going home now," he said. "Amy's waiting for me. She's so perfect."

Harry rolled his eyes as James disapparated away again. He turned to Lily.

"No boyfriends. Or girlfriends. No friends, of any sort, whatsoever," he told her.

She raised an unimpressed brow. "Sure," she drawled.

Ginny hit him with a stinging hex. "That's enough from you, or it'll be bat bogey next time."

Harry winced. "Yes darling," he said. Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Ginny dragged him up the stairs.

"I don't know what you're thinking, telling Lily such nonsense. You're just lucky she doesn't take you seriously," Ginny lectured. "Honestly, you're as bad as Ron sometimes."

Harry nodded obediently, and hoped that Malfoy was having better luck with his wife.


End file.
